It was early, before sunrise, when I headed North on the Tri-State on my way in to the office. I always like to leave early enough to beat the traffic and also get a head start on the sedimentary deposits of email silt that have settled since the last time I logged in to my corporate account via my company issued laptop. My laptop is complete with cool high tech VPN software that gives me the handy ability to automatically log in to the company network and work at any wireless "WiFi" internet hot spot. This means any time I venture into a WiFi equipped Starbucks, McDonalds, Barnes and Noble or major airport I can get caught up on work. Oh, and of course --I can log in wirelessly at that WiFi haven of peace and solitude I call home where I can get caught up on, er, work at any hour of the day, even on weekends. That song by the Stereo MC's popped into my head.
Something ain't right
I'm gonna get myself
I'm gonna get myself
I'm gonna get myself connected
As I set my cruise control I thought about email and what effect it's having on corporate culture. Are we talking less? We're saying more words to one another, that's for sure. But are we talking (you know, with our voices) less? On any given day the office I work in is almost silent, except for the soft clicking from the cubicle dwellers using their mice and keyboards. It's not uncommon for me to receive a one sentence question about something business related from a co-worker three feet away. ((clickety)) I reply to their question with a one sentence answer, via email. ((clickety click)) Are these clicks replacing human interactive speech? Occasionally you'll hear someone out in cube land let out a random chuckle, no doubt enjoying the latest broadcast email we all received of a humorous joke or silly image shared with someone else's entire electronic email address list. Sadly, I always seem to miss out on the humor of those things, since I usually hit the delete key before I get to the chuckle part. Maybe I should rethink that strategy...
I'm brought back to reality when I spot a white sedan ahead on the left that might just belong to one of Illinois' finest, potentially laden with a cornucopia of speed sensing gadgetry and ticket producing technology to fill any driver’s heart with dread. As I glance down at the
digital readout on my speedometer, I briefly think of that timeless scene from “The Blues Brothers”…"I bet that cop's got SCMODS." I did the math to make sure I was within seven miles per hour of the posted limit. I was. "The light was yellow, sir." I then thought about the design of the dashboard on my new 2006 Honda Civic with the i-VTEC engine, side air bags, ABS and drive-by-wire throttle system, and how the brochure I downloaded from Honda.com happily informed me that engineers placed the digital speed readout, gas gauge and temperature gauge way out at the front end of the dashboard just below the base of the windshield because their advanced laboratory testing proved that drivers only need flick their eyes for a few milliseconds from the road to the bottom of their windshield to check the vehicle's vitals, then back to the road again almost instantly. This new design lets us keep our eyes on the road for those few extra precious fleeting moments, unlike all those other unfortunate drivers who are forced to crane their necks dangerously to look down in between the spokes of their steering wheels to check the same information. I wondered how had I made it this far along without having this technology advancement? Thankfully, I'll never again get in a collision because I was distracted from the road while checking my speed. This departure from the dashboard design status quo might just completely change the world! Untold millions of rear end collisions would never happen if only every car maker would leverage the knowledge Honda has given to the world and redesign their own dashboards accordingly.On second thought, maybe that's a bit too ambitious.
Maybe I should be satisfied with the fact that my new dashboard looks really cool, like a fighter pilot's, and may even help keep my eyes on the road for a few more scant milliseconds. Now, if I could only stop fiddling with that cool new stereo they put in with all the neat buttons...
Almost at the office now as I approach the second toll booth of my commute. As always, I choose the "iPass Only" lane, reserved for the exclusive club of members such as myself that allows us to glide freely past the invisible electronic hand that effortlessly slips into our wallets to silently remove $.40. Talk about building a better mousetrap! Pick pocketeers would surely love to get their hands on such technology. Some would argue that they already have, hence the iPass lane I just passed through.
I round the last corner before pulling into the parking garage at my office when I realize I forgot the little magnetic key fob needed to enter my company's lobby. At this hour, I'm hoping I spot a fellow early riser I can sneak in behind before the lock clicks shut. But slipping in on someone else's key fob is a corporate American faux pas -- it negates the whole purpose of the security system in the first place. Believe me, I know. An email was recently sent out discussing this very serious risk factor. In the CPG industry, anyone at all could sneak in and steal all of our trade secrets about oh, I don't know...spatulas, cereal bowls, and maybe latest Pyrex non-stick measuring cup. Thank goodness, I'm in luck. I spot Dan from Marketing and rush up to chat about...something...anything to divert his attention from my inherent foblessness. What will I talk about? He's a sports fan, but I know zilch about sports, how can I get to my desk so I can get that early start on my emails? I take the leap of faith and chat with him about last week's White Sox World Championship Victory. We wax nostalgic about the games of last season which I never saw as I slip behind him and past our impenetrable cutting edge security system.
I boot up my laptop, plug in my desktop speakers and fire up that
awesome little icon of technological hipness I take with me everywhere, like a child with a little square white teddy bear -- my beloved iPod containing the whole of my ridiculously large music collection, which fits easily in my shirt pocket. As I wade through the myriad colorful technological logos and imposing looking security logins I think about how easy life must have been five hundred years ago before email, magnetic security systems in buildings, invisible automatic toll collectors, digital speedometers, and snooze buttons.Life must have been grand before technology!
Then I thought about Johann Gutenberg and his famous printing press...that was also about five hundred years ago...but that's another blog for another day.